I’ve recently been speaking to several of the Catholic women in this city, and the general consensus is that it is nearly impossible to find a good Catholic/Christian husband nowadays. Scratch that. It is nearly impossible to find a good Catholic/Christian boyfriend.
My best friend was expressing to me her frustrations over this. She said that because men aren’t stepping up, us women are left feeling that we either need to do all the work, or that we have to lower our standards. I think she is absolutely right.
Men know that they are the minority, at least in religious circles. They know that us women want husbands, and so they are sitting back and letting us fret and stress over the matter.
This is not how things should be. Women should not be coveting men. Men should be coveting us. I’m not saying they necessarily know this consciously. Quite frankly, I doubt men know anything consciously. But their subconscious’s know this!
Women, we are beautiful treasures that drive men wild. Men are supposed to be dying to be so lucky to have an amazing woman in his life.
As Dave Chappelle once said: “Chivalry is dead. And women killed it”. He also said this: “the magazines trick the women. The magazines start picking at your self-esteem: every page you turn you start feeling fatter, and uglier, and you feel like your clothes aren’t good enough. And the magazines have you forgetting how beautiful you are.”
For a guy who says some pretty controversial and risqué things, who couldn’t applaud those two statements?
So men, you better start stepping up. Start by reading this blog: http://artofmanliness.com/.
Be gentlemen.
And women, we need to step up too. Let the men in your life be gentlemen. A man knows you are perfectly capable of opening a door yourself. But maybe he wants to open it for you, because he respects you.
I understand also that dating within Catholic/Christian circles is difficult because as soon as there is any interest brewing, all your friends start asking if you’re discerning marriage. Talk about scaring away a potential partner? Oh my gosh, you like me?? I like you too! Let’s discern marriage! Wow. All the while, the poor guy is sitting across the table thinking The only thing I was discerning was what flavour tea I wanted…
Either way, if you men don’t start stepping up, us women will begin our official protest, because we deserve better.
PS: If you leave a comment, please leave a first name so I can properly respond, rather than saying "2 posts above", etc.
You say that men are the minority in Christian circles... Doesn't that mean, mathematically, that some women will be 'left behind'?
ReplyDeleteI think your assumptions of men in this post are very flawed. Also, does your best friend know a guy that wants to date her, yet is not 'stepping up'? Isn't it possible that she hasn't met the right guy yet?
Jeremiah 29:11, ladies. It's true for all facets of life, so let it be true in your lives, and believe it.
Women will not necessarily be left behind, but may/will start looking elsewhere. A lot of my female friends who are frustrated talk about giving up on Christian men, and are considering dating non-Christian guys.
ReplyDeleteOf course my assumptions on men are flawed. I am a woman. I think very broadly and make giant leaps based on things I observe, lol.
Yes it's possible my best friend has not yet met the right guy (or she has and doesn't know it yet).
Thanks for your comment! : )
When you say that Christian men should be coveting women, do you maybe mean that men should be puruing women? I'm confused because the action of coveting doesn't really have a positive connotation.
ReplyDeleteThere's something to be said about being at peace with the vocation you currently find yourself in. It can be tedious and frustrating waiting around for a good Catholic/Christian man who appreciates you as a woman properly. This can no doubt lead to unfair accusations, such as that men aren't stepping up. Time could be better spent loving the freedom of being a single person and serving the world as only a single person can.
Men don't want to pursue desperate women who denounce their masculinity. Men want to pursue women who appreciate them and uplift them and support them in their masculine role.
Don't give up on Christian men of the world! Instead, live out your femininity and be confident that God will fulfill your heart's desires without you having to compromise.
I don't understand how it is possible that you could be complaining that you can't find a good Catholic guy, and then write "Quite Frankly, I doubt men know anything consciously" and not have made the connection yet.
ReplyDeleteYes, Christian men do need to step up. No, Christian men do not like being insulted, and likely don't want to spend the rest of their earthly lives being with somebody who openly (to the greater internet community at least) insults them, that is unless they need yet another reason to look forward to the afterlife.
You're right.
ReplyDeleteI'm far too sarcastic in my writings too the vast world of strangers who don't understand when I am saying tongue-in-cheek things.
But I have faith that my future husband will understand my sense of humour, because he won't be a pansy and be so easily offended.
I apologise for having offended you.
Two posts above:
ReplyDeleteCorrect, I do not mean "covet" in the bad way. I just couldn't find a better word other than covet. I used "yearning" in my facebook status, but used covet on here because it was the word my best friend used, and this entry was inspired by her.
I also realise men don't want desperate women. That's why I personally am not looking for a man, because I know God wants me to wait. I'm more writing on behalf of my female Christian friends who are frustrated with always hanging out in Christian circles with all these guys who are perfectly content in hanging out, and not stepping up and asking out one of these wonderful girls on a date.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myIfGdNt1AY&feature=player_embedded
ReplyDelete^ I think this would be a great video for any single person to watch. It puts the focus on ourselves, and on deepening our relationship with Christ. It's easy to put the blame on men, but there are SO many factors that come into play when it comes to relationships. We, as single women, should strive to find peace and joy in where we are at in our lives.
PS. I agree with the 2nd Anonymous comment. ^
I was going to say a lot of the same things but saw it posted before I posted mine. :)
I'm Maritime Catholic and I approve this message. (the youtube video)
ReplyDelete