I lived in Southern Ontario, and my kindergarten class was taking a trip to what I believe was some sort of petting zoo, with no animal petting involved. I remember a cool playground, and a cage of turkeys. The children would surround the cage, and scream: "GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!!!!" until one of the turkeys would gobble. When it did, everyone cheered.
I'm not talking about caged turkeys.
No, I'm talking about rogue swans.
If you have never experienced swans, then you are lucky. AVOID THESE BIRDS. They are evil, hateful beasts with no fear and a vendetta against all of God's creations out of bitterness for God making them ugly as ducklings. No bird carries a grudge like a swan.
But on that day, I had never seen one before.
My mom was one of the parent volunteers, supervising the kids. Her and I took a little stroll, and found ourselves on a wooden footbridge. We stopped, and looked down at the stream running under the bridge.
And there it was.
"Mom, look!" I said, and pointed to the beautiful bird. My mom informed me that it was a swan. We watched as it was about to swim under our feet.
It all happened so fast.
The swan was right under our feet. All of a sudden, the evil creature from the dark waters began gnawing on my little foot, which was poking out of the bottom of the bridge. It was eating my little pink rubber boot! It had a wild look in its eyes, and I'm pretty sure it had razor sharp teeth.
I screamed. And cried.
I was pretty sure my foot was being bitten off by this psycho bird, sent from hell.
My mom comforted me by saying, "Calm down. You have boots on. You can't even feel any pain".
Maybe not, but it was the principle of the whole thing.
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