Sarah-nade

Last night I went to the pub with 2 of my very good friends, Sarah and Chris (who are engaged to one another, awwww). Sarah is one of my collaborators for this blog, and she tells me hilarious stories everyday.

From now on, her stories will be called Sarah-nades, because she always Sarahnades me with awesome true stories.

So last night we were at the pub, and Sarah goes to the washroom to blow her nose.



She looks up, and in the mirror she can see the girl standing next to her. Her face was covered in water, and she was just staring at Sarah, smiling.



Sarah just looks at her, and finally the wet face lady spoke:



Sarah just stares back at her...



And quickly leaves.

Later that evening, crazy wet faced lady was dancing to the music, which I always find weird in a small pub. Why was her face wet? We're not sure. Maybe she had her head in the toilet. Maybe she felt hot and went to splash water on her face. Who knows. Maybe it was sweat? (ewww).

Stay tuned for more possible Sarahnades, like "Pizza! The Action Movie".

Update:

Come on United States!!! You only have 99 views, and Canada has 690. Disgraceful. Aren't you supposed to be the super power? Super at everything? You're not supposed to let anyone beat you at anything.

Update Again:

Ok ok, USA is now up to 102. But Canada is 696, so.... USA, your game really needs to be stepped up.

Childhood Fright

I was 4 years old. Maybe 5.

My mom had come to pick me up from school. I was a walker. Walkers were kids who lived within walking distance, and we were last to leave, after the bus kids went home. I went outside to the cement square by my classroom door to meet my mom.

We walked home.

When we reached the house, I decided to lag behind, while mom went into the house. I was in the driveway, turned around to face the road, and there it was: the scariest thing my 4 or 5 year old eyes had ever seen.







I started to cry and screamed as loud as I could.


My mom came flying out of the house, thinking I had been hit by a car or mangled by something.


I was pressed up against the garage door, as far away from it as I could get myself. I pointed to the horrible thing.


She looked in the direction I pointed to.



It followed us home.

I didn't know what a cat was. Or maybe I had known from TV, but I had never seen one for real before. I was petrified.

My mom was mad at me.

But thankfully she shooed it away.

Soul Tree

I am currently sitting in the university library.

I just sent off my progress report to my thesis supervisor. It is my updated version because the first one wasn't good enough, as I expected. How could it be when this department put no form of guidance in the thesis package, or on the department website?

I am frustrated with my thesis because I am forced to read and use sources that I think are crap

So I drew this picture, because I feel that with each hour I dedicate to my thesis, a piece of my soul dies.


My soul tree....the leaves are slowly falling away.

Brainstorm Picture New and Improved

One of my collaborators adored my brain storm picture from the last entry, but thought I should have added something more. So here it is, new and improved:



They are zombies, catching brains on their tongues, like we do with snow flakes. Let the feasting begin!

Evolution Brainstorm

This picture popped into my head after my lastest tweet:


It made me laugh, in a "ew, that'd be kinda gross" kind of way.

Currently, I am procrastinating writing a paper on how evolution contradicts the Bible. This is not my belief, but is the position we have to take. For our next paper, we have to write about how evolution does not contradict the Bible.

Maybe I will brainstorm my paper now.
(10 points to me for using the key word!)

1. Genesis says that God made the Earth in 6 days, and in those 6 days He made man and woman. It says nothing about man evolving from animals. It says man came from DUST. How could a human evolve from dust? It is impossible. So evolution is wrong.
(*Note: UNLESS man evolved from a Golem)



2. In beginning with Adam and Eve, and in doing the math on the generations since, the Earth is only a few thousand years old, not however millions "scientists" claim it to be. Pssh.

3. Genesis shows the intelligent design of the universe, the intelligence of God. Humans were made from this intelligence, not from some evolutionary chain of events of chance. That implies God made something move, sat back, and watch the rest happen. Genesis is pretty clear that God was involved the whole time. Evolution implies that we don't need God.

That's all I have so far......

So here's a picture of my current, inner-most desire:

I hope I get some soon....

Update:
(based off what internet people are talking about on this topic)

4. Genesis says God made all the creatures of the Earth, which contradicts evolution. It doesn't say God made a few creatures, and they evolved into other creatures, etc. This would also contradict the event of Noah's ark, who took 2 of every animal on board.

5. Genesis implies God created everything out of nothing, which goes against evolution and physics in general. Nothing can't be created from nothing.

6. If we evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Better Update!

I am eating popcorn. With dill pickle powder stuff. I don't know what it's called. Seasoning salt? Sure. I'm also drinking milk. I wish I had a cow. I wish my cat would evolve into a cow. Then she'd be practical.

Crazy Bus People

Today I was riding the bus, as I often do.

I was sitting at the very back, in the right corner seat, if you are facing the back of the bus. At some point between somewhere and somewhere...it's blurry, I can't remember...3 people get on, and sit at the very back on the left side: a girl, and two guys. I didn't look at them, because I could tell they were sketchy, and when sketchy people get on the bus, all I can think of is this:

They were talking loudly, as crazy people normally do in public. You know, the facebook generation...putting everything out there for the whole world to know.
The girl starts going on about how fat she is, and this is the most she has ever weighed in her life. I am tempted to glance over at her, but I didn't. Then one of the guys she was with asks her how much she weighs.
Here is my "Stupid Things People Say Reactor" meter:

At least, those are some of the general things I think when people say stupid things.

Anyways, to my surprise, she did not retort with anything other than her weight. And the grand total was: *drum roll* 135 pounds.
Wow. What a let down to hear she was AVERAGE!

After she so generously graced the public with her average weight, and apparent shame of it, she decided to loudly tell her friend that February 2nd will be "one year ecstacy free!"

Part of me wanted to glance at her, and nod a genuine nod that said "Well done. Congratulations." But the bigger part of me was reaching for the cord to let me off.

A Cat isn't a Mom

I had a thought the other day after a frustrating encounter with someone who talks A LOT. Then I had that thought reinforced with more frustrating encounters with people who talk too much.

A graph came to mind. Now, I am a visual thinker. When I study for tests, I take mental photos of the pages I am reading and store them in my brain. When I write a test, I pull out that image of the photo and look at the paper for the piece of info I am trying to remember.

That has nothing to do with anything. I just wanted to brag about how awesome my photographic mind is.

But a graph really did come to mind, and it goes likes this:

The less a person talks, the better skill they have at reading people's body language. The more a person talks, the greater that skill decreases. In general.

Now, there are some people who do understand body language, and are totally aware of how uncomfortable they make people, and thrive off that. I am not talking about those people.

I am talking about that person who never shuts up and they violate your ears by going on about nothing, and things you really don't care about. People who have verbal diaharrea really bad, and as soon as your eyes meet theirs for even a second, they puke words all over you.

Ya, those people.

And I thought about the correlation because those people, or at least the ones I have encountered in my life, seem to have absolutely no comprehension of body language. When no one is looking at them, they continue to talk. When you look bored, they continue to talk. My personal favourite is when you say nothing, or your only reply is "uh huh", and they still continue to talk, believing they are having an awesome long conversation with you, but have never noticed that they are the only ones talking, so it's not a conversation.

I have been trying for years to learn how to deal with these people, but it's difficult because they are so ignorant of how other people perceive them, and often they don't even care how people around them feel (I also know people who don't talk a lot, have minimal understanding of body language, and don't care how the people around them feel) because many of these people have no comprehension that their behaviour causes people to feel anything. They are dillusional.

So I've been trying to be patient, knowing that these people don't do this on purpose. They are not purposely being idiots, constantly spewing crap and stupid statements all over your brand new sweater. They don't know any better. They probably have stupid parents who shaped them that way.

For example:
Very recently, I told someone I know that my mom has cancer, and rather than offer any sort of sympathy, they equated my mom having cancer with their cat having cancer: "Oh...I just found out my cat has cancer". To throw them a social cue at how insanely insensitive of a statement that was (and that's me using nice language), I said: "Yeah well, a cat isn't a mom". The guy behind me laughed, because he saw what I was doing. So I thought, "good, point made". Nope. They stare blankly at me, almost insulted, and said "I've had my cat for 17 years. We're very close".

I didn't say anything more. What would be the point? I decided to turn around, and stop talking to them.

So you see, dear friends, sometimes the best way to deal with these people is to avoid them at all possible costs. It may not sound very Christian, but avoiding them is more Christian than the thoughts that run through my head when I am around them.

Save yourself the stress.

Now go donate a cancer infested cat to cancer research.

A Letter to my Favourite Candy

Yesterday I decided to send my favourite candy, Starburst, an email. This is how it went:

Dear Starburst,

Your candy is my favorite. Even though it sometimes hurts my teeth, I refuse to give it up, and I eat it everytime I go to the movies.

Sometimes, however, there are too many oranges and yellows, and really, who likes those colours? Everyone loves the reds and the pinks. So I thought, why not invent one with just those colours?

Then I went to Boise, Idaho last May, and wandered into a Target. I nearly died of joy to see that there IS a Starburst pack of just the reds. I was overjoyed, but also saddened because we don't have them here in Nova Scotia. I am stuck with Original and Tropical.

I am also amazed upon viewing the Starburst website that there are even gummies, and jellybeans, which would not hurt my teeth like the fruit chews do. Why don't we have these in Canada?

Also, the 3 commericials on the website are wonderful. Whoever made them, give that person a promotion immediately. As a future journalist and some day famous writer, I commend their brilliance.

Thank you Starburst for your delicious, tasty goodness.

Sincerly,
Christine Thibeault


I would not bother to share that letter if I did not get a reply back. Which I did! Today! Here it is:

Dear Ms. Thibeault,

Thank you for writing to let us know about the difficulty you've had finding Starburst® Flavereds Candy in your neighbourhood.

The product line is brand new and as such may not be available to its fullest potential yet. Adding a new product to retail shelves does take time before it is available at all locations. Retailers have different schedules for reorganizing their shelves and some may not even allow a new product in until their next fiscal year.

Generally speaking, when a product cannot be found at the local level, it can be found at some of the larger chain grocery and drug stores. I will pass your comments along to our District Manager for your region and perhaps they can persuade some stores in your area to stock up on it.

It is possible that the stores in your area have run out of stock of the packs that are still available, and have not been replenishing their shelves. It may be worthwhile to bring this note to the attention of the managers of the various stores in your area. We cannot supply our product without an order for it. We often hear that store managers, when they ask their head offices, are not able to order certain products unless there is a special request. They may be able to stock the product as long as they see a demand for it.

Your patronage is greatly appreciated, and we hope you will be able to obtain your favourite brand in the very near future.

Sincerely,

Barbra North
Consumer Care Representative

I was overjoyed to receive this email, though I was a little sad they did not offer a lifetime supply for sending them such an awesome email. Maybe they will send me one without telling me as a surprise.

*dreams*

Which Country is Being More Awesome

I thought it would be fun to post my blog audience stats of all time.

If you haven't noticed yet, I have added a page view counter at the very bottom of the page.


So there you have it.

My very own, my beloved, Canada, is more awesome than everyone else. And these 10 countries put together are more awesome than every other country in the world that has decided to deprive themselves of said awesomeness.

I do, however, find it distressing that the Vatican is not listed. The Pope has a very stressful job, and I believe my blog would help relieve that stress.

Perhaps one day....

Update!
January 31, 2011

I want to offer my condolences to Denmark, which has been bumped off the board by Blogger for not being awesome enough, and has been replaced by Costa Rica, with 4 views.