But earlier, this is what I looked like:
Ok, so it was probably more like this:
But with a large portion of the anger in the cloud.
I drew myself as a flower because I am delicate, fragile....sensitive (my friend Cat would probably laugh and say "No, the cloud is way more accurate").
Today was not one of my more proud moments, per se. I cried in front of a friend, who is more of an aquaintance because I only see him in class. I mean, we get along, and we have the same stresses because he's in the same department, and going through the same school crap I am, but still.
It wasn't my fault, honest. He caught me at a VERY bad time. I went up to the department to vent at my supervisor about how much I hate my prof (who is also the department head, and whose class I just came from), and how about I want to quit my Honor's because of how much of a jerk he is to me, and she wasn't there. Seriously, my prof bitches at me for not meeting with her, and she is NEVER there when I go see her. Last week, he cut me down in class, horribly embarassing me. Today, he FREAKED at me because I calmly expressed my frustration that he said in an email he would take care of distributing my proposal to the department and he didnt do it, therefore it was not my responsibilty to do it, since he said he would do it. He freaked out saying his email was down for 2 weeks. How was I supposed to know that? He clearly emailed me saying he would do it, so....obviously it was working...? Excuse me for being confused.
Anyways, at that point I was done. We are supposed to present our thesis topics on Friday, and he conveniently left me off the email list saying what room we are presenting in (one of the other students noticed and sent it to me). There are only 7 of us. How could he forget to include me? I don't understand why he is being such a dick to me, considering he is the one who humiliated me last week. I've never experienced this before. I have never directly had conflict like this with a prof before. So after class, I just broke. I went to go talk to my supervisor, she wasn't there. So I was heading back to the office where I work, ran into the above mentioned friend/aquaintance, and I lost it.
Ugh. *shakes head* I absolutely HATE crying in front of people. Not just people who aren't close to me. Anyone. My mom and I are super close, but when I came home, I sheltered myself in my room for an hour so she wouldn't see me upset. I cried in front of a boyfriend once. He thought it was romantic and endearing. I wanted to punch myself in the face, lol.
Anyways, nothing is resolved, but I'll recover with plant food. (which for me, means lots of sugar, soup with cheese....actually, anything with cheese....and cider.)
Now I want cider....
UPDATE!
I am drinking cider.
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