Holy Toledo!
My life has changed so much in 2 years! (I am very happy to say!)
I finished a job, started a new one, started a relationship, ended a relationship, and started another relationship (which has brought me so much immense happiness I can barely contain myself)
Maybe I'll write about this current moment and work my way backwards.
Currently, I am very, very irritated. I facebook creeped my boyfriend's roommate, and noticed a status from almost a month ago complaining about us videochatting in the kitchen while he was trying to watch tv and how rude we were being, and all his friends commented on how rude we were.
Well, maybe his friends need some perspective.
Are they aware that your roommate is in a long-distance relationship with a 3 hour time zone difference? And we value what little time we get in the day to talk to one another? And YOU can watch tv ANYTIME you want on the internet, whereas we don't have that luxury?
You know what I would love to do? The next time we videochat, I would love for us to hold up paper signs to the screen in silence, and communicate that way. Then his roommate will say, "what the hell are you guys doing?", and we will retort, "Well, we already have so little face to face time, what with our long distance relationship, but we really love each other. So we discussed this, and decided to sacrifice even more of this quality time in our relationship so that YOU can deepen YOUR relationship with your TV. We understand how important relationships are, so we wouldn't want to risk any strife between you and the television".
That's what I would love to do, however, my boyfriend is far too wonderful and kind a man to ever encourage such a plot, and I am too short tempered. So I won't say anything to him, because I don't want to cause any problems between the two of them.
It won't be an issue for much longer anyway, as my prince will be away for the whole month of January in Europe where his home is, and I WILL BE WITH HIM! My darling is taking me home to meet his friends and family, and I am so very excited, even though his father and grandmothers don't speak any English. Actually, I had a horrible dream last night that they didn't approve of me, and I got so upset and yelled at them about how much we love each other. When I woke up I was so anxious. I would have called him right away, but it was 3:30am for him, and I wasn't going to wake him up over a stupid dream. He wouldn't have minded, but still. Also, I have met his father and grandmother on videochat, and they are so wonderful and sweet and adorable and they love me. But in my dream it was his aunt who was being hateful to me, and I have not met her.
My prince and I met at work, started dating, but then he had to move because of immigration (we knew this though when we started seeing each other). To be completely honest, I really didn't think we were going to do long distance. Neither of us seemed really sure, and didn't exactly agree to a long distance relationship. I didn't think it would last. I thought we would text for a bit, and then fade from each other as his new life started. The opposite happened, which I think totally surprised both of us. Instead of growing apart from the distance, we ended up growing closer and closer, and more and more in love with each other. Every free moment we had we were texting, or phoning the other. So I decided to spend my 2 week vacation with him, and we fell even more in love with one another. He bought me a laptop for my birthday which almost gave me a heartattack, but I absolutely love it (using it right now!) and now we videochat as often as we can.
He really is the greatest event of my life. I never knew I could be this happy. This consistently happy. I always felt that I had to settle at least some aspects of myself. You know, I would think I was really happy, but in the back of my head, there was always a part of myself I was holding back for the sake of settling. But my darling, he loves me for ME! He loves my quirks, my sense of humour, my counter-culturalism, my spirituality, my family, my voice. He is proud of me and values and appreciates me and tells me constantly throughout my day. He doesn't make me feel bad about my job, he builds me up and reminds me how hard I work and to be proud of what I do (I am an instructor). He builds me up. And that to me is the difference between a successful an unsuccessful relationship. We build each other up, and love each other, and everyday we want to show the other how much we love them and why. And yes, we are "in" love, so it's not really difficult at this stage, but I am perfectly aware about how much of a choice love is. I make conscious efforts to love him in ways that will speak to his heart. For example, my passport photos, and my visa for traveling. I am a procrastinator, and would rather put things off. However, he is not. He does things early and he is a very proactive person, which is something I LOVE about him because he is a positive influence on me. Anyway, I wanted to procrastinate these things, but I knew that doing so would disappoint him, and probably make him feel like I didn't care about him. So I did it. Not because I wanted to get those things done, but because I love him and he is more important than my ego.
I suppose that's all I want to write at the moment. I will end on these wonderful feelings and expel the negative ones I was feeling earlier.
Life is pretty sweet lately :-)
Monday, November 18, 2013
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Kneeling for Communion and Receiving on the Tongue
I've been debating for a while now whether or not to write a post about this topic because I didn't realise until this past year how controversial it is.
Catholics who kneel for Communion and receive on the tongue are being hated on by Catholics who don't.
And I think it is ridiculous.
I never thought that I would ever live in a Church that is trying to stop me from kneeling before my God, my Saviour who died for my sins. But I do, and it is breaking my heart.
Two times in the past year I have been told by two different people that I should stop kneeling for Communion and stop taking Communion on the tongue. And the reasons they gave are ridiculous.
1. Argument: My kneeling is failing to think of how I am making other people feel.
My Response:I found that argument ironic, because these people fail to understand how I feel.
This is how I see that argument in my mind:
I am sitting at a table with friends, and everyone is eating junk. I decide I would rather not put crap into my body, so I order a healthy meal instead. Then I get pulled aside, and I am told that it is offensive that I chose to eat healthy when everyone else is not, so therefore I should "do as the Romans do" and eat crap like everyone else.
I'm not saying that it is crap to not kneel, but that kneeling feels good and right to me.
2. Argument: My kneeling during the Mass when everyone else is standing is rejecting the community. The community prays as one and we need to have unified prayers, therefore our posture must be unified as well.
My Response: Where do we draw the line at that insane logic? Our posture needs to be the same? So if we raise our hands during the Our Father and ONE person isn't, the prayer is null and void? The old lady who has to sit through the entire Mass because she is too feeble to stand is rejecting the community and her prayers are not heard, or the community's joint prayer fails because she's sitting? Give me a break. It's stupid logic. It is also implying that when I kneel I am not praying with the Community. I sing the hymns along with everyone else, and I pray the same words as everyone else, even when I am kneeling. So to say that I am not being part of the community is ridiculous.
Canon 899.2: "...In the eucharistic gathering the people of God are called together with the bishop or, under his authority, a presbyter presiding and acting in the person of Christ. All the faithful who are present, whether clerics or laity, unite together by participating in their own way according to the diversity of orders and liturgical functions."
Bam.
3. Argument: When you kneel for Communion people trip over you and you are holding up the flow of traffic.
My Response: First of all, NO ONE has ever tripped over me. Secondly, if there is someone behind me who doesn't know me, I tell them that I kneel for Communion so they don't trip over me. Thirdly, since when do we view the Communion receiving line as traffic on a road? Who cares how long it takes for everyone to receive Communion as long as people are being reverent? If Mass took an extra 15 minutes because people were kneeling for Communion and holding up the line, I would be overjoyed.
4. Argument: Taking Communion on the tongue is unhygenic. What if I have a cut on my finger and I am HIV positive and now my cut has touched your tongue?
My Response: First, I don't think about those things when I am at Mass about to receive my Lord in the flesh. Secondly, my best friend informs me that that is a huge ignorance of HIV (she took a course on HIV and AIDS). Third, if you are HIV postive and have a cut on your finger, you probably wouldn't be giving out Communion.
5. Argument: Kneeling for Communion is heresy because it is a rejection of everything that just took place. We are all Tabernacles after receiving, so why don't you remain kneeling always?
My Response: I am kneeling in response to the awe that was put upon my heart by God in witness to the Transubstatiation, the miracle that we witness at every Mass. I kneel because God put it on my heart to kneel because the Mass is the slaughter of Christ on the altar. No, I am not rejecting the resurrection. We celebrate the resurrection after Mass. Is Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament heresy? Of course not.
Canon 899.1: "The eucharistic celebration is the action of Christ himself and the Church. In it, Christ the Lord, through the ministry of the priest, offers himself, substantially present under the species of bread and wine, to God the Father and gives himself as spiritual food to the faithful united with his offering."
6. Argument: People didn't use to kneel for Communion or receive on the tongue until who-gives-a-crap century.
My Response: People didn't use to wear clothes, but now we do because we realised we would freeze to death if we didn't.
What these people fail to realise is that I am not kneeling out of arrogance. Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I hate being the centre of attention and I would rather blend in than to stand out. So for me to be kneeling in a room full of people who aren't is incredibly difficult for me. I worry about whether or not people are judging me. I worry that people think "What does she think she's better than us?"
But I know my heart, and I know I am doing what is right.
I think it is incredibly sad that people are trying to crush my form of reverence. It is quiet and silent and not disrupting anyone. It actually disturbs me and makes my stomach turn thinking about it. Our Church has so many issues, and this is what people are going to get upset about? Really? How about you go and try to get people in the door, convince them religion is still worth it, and stop interrogating the ones who are actually still showing up.
Catholics who kneel for Communion and receive on the tongue are being hated on by Catholics who don't.
And I think it is ridiculous.
I never thought that I would ever live in a Church that is trying to stop me from kneeling before my God, my Saviour who died for my sins. But I do, and it is breaking my heart.
Two times in the past year I have been told by two different people that I should stop kneeling for Communion and stop taking Communion on the tongue. And the reasons they gave are ridiculous.
1. Argument: My kneeling is failing to think of how I am making other people feel.
My Response:I found that argument ironic, because these people fail to understand how I feel.
This is how I see that argument in my mind:
I am sitting at a table with friends, and everyone is eating junk. I decide I would rather not put crap into my body, so I order a healthy meal instead. Then I get pulled aside, and I am told that it is offensive that I chose to eat healthy when everyone else is not, so therefore I should "do as the Romans do" and eat crap like everyone else.
I'm not saying that it is crap to not kneel, but that kneeling feels good and right to me.
2. Argument: My kneeling during the Mass when everyone else is standing is rejecting the community. The community prays as one and we need to have unified prayers, therefore our posture must be unified as well.
My Response: Where do we draw the line at that insane logic? Our posture needs to be the same? So if we raise our hands during the Our Father and ONE person isn't, the prayer is null and void? The old lady who has to sit through the entire Mass because she is too feeble to stand is rejecting the community and her prayers are not heard, or the community's joint prayer fails because she's sitting? Give me a break. It's stupid logic. It is also implying that when I kneel I am not praying with the Community. I sing the hymns along with everyone else, and I pray the same words as everyone else, even when I am kneeling. So to say that I am not being part of the community is ridiculous.
Canon 899.2: "...In the eucharistic gathering the people of God are called together with the bishop or, under his authority, a presbyter presiding and acting in the person of Christ. All the faithful who are present, whether clerics or laity, unite together by participating in their own way according to the diversity of orders and liturgical functions."
Bam.
3. Argument: When you kneel for Communion people trip over you and you are holding up the flow of traffic.
My Response: First of all, NO ONE has ever tripped over me. Secondly, if there is someone behind me who doesn't know me, I tell them that I kneel for Communion so they don't trip over me. Thirdly, since when do we view the Communion receiving line as traffic on a road? Who cares how long it takes for everyone to receive Communion as long as people are being reverent? If Mass took an extra 15 minutes because people were kneeling for Communion and holding up the line, I would be overjoyed.
4. Argument: Taking Communion on the tongue is unhygenic. What if I have a cut on my finger and I am HIV positive and now my cut has touched your tongue?
My Response: First, I don't think about those things when I am at Mass about to receive my Lord in the flesh. Secondly, my best friend informs me that that is a huge ignorance of HIV (she took a course on HIV and AIDS). Third, if you are HIV postive and have a cut on your finger, you probably wouldn't be giving out Communion.
5. Argument: Kneeling for Communion is heresy because it is a rejection of everything that just took place. We are all Tabernacles after receiving, so why don't you remain kneeling always?
My Response: I am kneeling in response to the awe that was put upon my heart by God in witness to the Transubstatiation, the miracle that we witness at every Mass. I kneel because God put it on my heart to kneel because the Mass is the slaughter of Christ on the altar. No, I am not rejecting the resurrection. We celebrate the resurrection after Mass. Is Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament heresy? Of course not.
Canon 899.1: "The eucharistic celebration is the action of Christ himself and the Church. In it, Christ the Lord, through the ministry of the priest, offers himself, substantially present under the species of bread and wine, to God the Father and gives himself as spiritual food to the faithful united with his offering."
6. Argument: People didn't use to kneel for Communion or receive on the tongue until who-gives-a-crap century.
My Response: People didn't use to wear clothes, but now we do because we realised we would freeze to death if we didn't.
What these people fail to realise is that I am not kneeling out of arrogance. Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I hate being the centre of attention and I would rather blend in than to stand out. So for me to be kneeling in a room full of people who aren't is incredibly difficult for me. I worry about whether or not people are judging me. I worry that people think "What does she think she's better than us?"
But I know my heart, and I know I am doing what is right.
I think it is incredibly sad that people are trying to crush my form of reverence. It is quiet and silent and not disrupting anyone. It actually disturbs me and makes my stomach turn thinking about it. Our Church has so many issues, and this is what people are going to get upset about? Really? How about you go and try to get people in the door, convince them religion is still worth it, and stop interrogating the ones who are actually still showing up.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Pupils
So I went to the eye doctor today so he can refer me to the hospital to get surgery done to fix my eyes.
He had to dilate my eyes, which I have never had done before. So I've been wearing sunglasses because my pupils are ginormous and super sensitive to the light.
I look like an alien.
Here's a picture I drew to show you what my eyes currently look like:
Reminds me of this:
He had to dilate my eyes, which I have never had done before. So I've been wearing sunglasses because my pupils are ginormous and super sensitive to the light.
I look like an alien.
Here's a picture I drew to show you what my eyes currently look like:
Reminds me of this:
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
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